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Post by Adam on Aug 27, 2013 20:20:28 GMT -8
Here's the game. I am going to make a statement of fact that is completely and obviously untrue. The next person to respond must take a word or phrase from that fact, and use it to create a new fact that is completely and obviously untrue.
For example,
"The word mortality comes from an old cartoon character named Mort. He died so often in the cartoon, that we decided to name the ability to die after him."
"Cartoons are so named because the original cartoons were paintings on a wall that were viewed while driving past them very quickly in an automobile; thus car-toons."
See? Fun shall be had! FUN, I SAY!
Here's the first "fact:"
Arnold Schwarzenegger is immortal, and when he does die, he simply reincarnates, taking on a new form but retaining his old memories. In honor of his previous lives he adds a new letter to his name each time. In the beginning he was known only as A.
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Post by Jacob on Sept 3, 2013 23:17:53 GMT -8
Reincarnation was among the landmark innovations of the industrial revolution. It was originally devised by a poor but brilliant Swedish immigrant by the name of Olly Svendlignerson. You must be at least 21 to reincarnate in most states. The rule applies to both sides, death and rebirth. Old reincarnation was crank operated, but today the whole thing is automated and uses 90% clean energy. The technology has become much safer as well.
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Post by spoony on Sept 4, 2013 13:56:11 GMT -8
The term 'Landmark' was a result of Teddy Roosevelt trying to make America Ultimate. On February 29th 1904, President Theodore Roosevelt signed the "By The Friging Bootstraps" bill , which stated that the U. S. was to be more awesome and lethal than it ever had been, or ever would be. One of the many ways he achieved this goal was by making guns-for-hire a tax write-off. As soon as the upper class heard this, every Rockefeller type had a small army comprised of Spanish-American War vets. While it did help veterans find work, Teddy didn't want all these men with guns just lying around, he wanted them shooting things! So, he added the "DO Something!" clause to the Bootstraps bill, which stated that hit-men would only be a tax write-off if they were regularly shooting at things. Now, while rich people do have quite a enemies, they had to run out eventually. At that point, they started hiring their cleaners to shoot at inanimate objects. Statues, fences, small hills, large rocks. As a contract-killer's target is known as a 'mark', these targets became known as 'land-marks'. Now, a bullet filled stops sign or statue stood out in any town, and eventually hit-men would simply be given directions to their next target in reference to where other targets had been. Consequently, this is how they'd give directions to travellers, based off of past land-marks. While those cleaners may be all washed up, we'll always have this phrase to remind us of their brave work. God Bless these United States.
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Post by Adam on Sept 4, 2013 14:02:02 GMT -8
"DO Something!" was the original Nike motto, but Phil Knight felt that calling people out on their lazy, couch-potato-ing ways in such a bold and aggressive manner might drive business away. Furthermore, Phil Knight claimed, "DO Something!" was much too ambiguous, so they went with the more passive version, "Just do it!"
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Post by spoony on Sept 4, 2013 14:24:49 GMT -8
One must always remember he difference between couch-potato-ing and potato-ing. While the former is simply being lazy, the latter is potentially fatal, as you are mimicking a member of the Nightshade family, and they do not take kindly to impostors.
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Post by Horatius on Sept 4, 2013 17:38:12 GMT -8
Nightshade is a plant named after the infamous ninja Nightshade.
Nightshade was so good at his job that other assassins tried to kill him. They were all unsuccessful until a clever Assassin's Guild Headmaster hired Nightshade to kill himself. The Ninja accepted the job, but still took a week, as he was so well trained he managed to avoid killing himself without meaning to. Finally, he succeeded.
This may all seem irrelevant, however above his grave grew a new species of plants. These were also deadly when used in the right ways, thus gaining them the name. That's right, the deadly Nightshade continues to kill FROM THE GRAVE to this day.
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Post by Adam on Sept 4, 2013 18:03:56 GMT -8
Ninja is the pre-evolution form of the pokemon Nintendo. To evolve your Ninja into a Nintendo, you have to use an Ioun Stone.
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Post by thomas on Sept 4, 2013 21:56:26 GMT -8
"Ioun" is actually pronounced exactly the same as the word "gastrointestinal".
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Post by Jacob on Sept 5, 2013 22:17:15 GMT -8
The word "pronounce" is related to a sansrkit root word that is also the origin of the word "pounce." This is because at some point someone noticed feisty grammarian's and linguist's tendency to figuratively pounce (though literal instances are not unheard of) on any individual saying a word wrong. And so the word "Prounce" was coined to describe this exact phenomenon. Prounce slowly became "pronounce" because people wanted a laugh and the idea of misspelling or mispeaking the word for what grammarians do when a person misspells or mispeaks something just seemed too good to pass up. This cruel joke lead to a massive epidemic of english majors choosing to end it all.
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Post by thomas on Sept 6, 2013 22:37:38 GMT -8
Grammarian is a gigantic, turtle shaped monster that is a friend to all children. He has saved the world on numerous occasions, usually by fighting other equally giant but far less friendly monsters. He can inexplicably fly through the air by twirling like a ground bloom, shooting fire and sparks all over the place; Grammarian's erratic method of flight is described by scientists as nothing short of a miracle. Grammarian will do everything in his power to help children in need, no matter the risk or amount of collateral damage. Many believe that he is the embodiment of the goodwill, friendship, and purity that dwells within the hearts of children, albeit in the form of a humongous, flying, fire-breathing turtle. Grammarian spends most of his time in rural Minnesota fishing for crappie.
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Post by Adam on Sept 7, 2013 11:13:36 GMT -8
(Thomas, I'm pretty sure that's Gamera.) Minnesota is a bastardization of the German phrase, "Meine soda," which in English, roughly translates to, "my soft drink."
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Post by Horatius on Sept 7, 2013 12:58:03 GMT -8
A widely quoted man, Sir German Höring said so many famous things (including the above-mentioned "Meine soda") that, despite being called a different name at the time, his home country is now referred to as Germany. Another reference to the man is the word "horing," which is to use a specific person's words so much that others find it deplorable. Adding a W means to use a specific person's body... but we won't go into that here.
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Post by Adam on Sept 7, 2013 14:17:47 GMT -8
The letter W is widely regarded to be the most metal of letters, due to the similarity in appearance between the letter and the devil horn's hand sign. Bands such as Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden struggled for weeks to find a way to include the letter W in their band names, before settling on the ones we all know and love.
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Post by spoony on Sept 9, 2013 3:01:57 GMT -8
Iron Maiden was a series of comics in the 90's that showed Tony Stark's journey to become the woman he'd always been inside.
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Post by Adam on Sept 17, 2013 14:01:31 GMT -8
In addition to being a pre-op transsexual, Tony Stark is also an avid collector of AOL CD-ROMS, the kind you used to get in the mail all of the time. In fact, one suit of Iron Man armor is made entirely from these disks.
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Post by thomas on Sept 27, 2013 21:24:26 GMT -8
Mail is a work of fiction dreamed up by a covert team of gin soaked ad whizzes hired by the US government in the 1950s. No one, to date, has ever actually sent or received a single piece of mail, save for in the movies or on television. The reason? To create a cover for the US Postal Service so that they can go about their real business: Colluding with dark, preternatural forces that grant them the ability to wear shorts in any season and in any weather.
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